My emotions and hormones have been fairly stable for most of this pregnancy.....until now. I thought it was the first trimester hormone surge that typically sent you into random pregnancy-induced craziness? Well, apparently it comes back at the end, too. Needless to say, I was completely not prepared for the ups and downs I've been feeling for the past few days. I feel like I could cry (and have started to) at the tiniest little things. I accidentally left my towel in the bedroom the other day and almost started crying when I got out of the shower because I had to go get it. My phone deleted the list of outgoing/incoming calls and it almost drove me to tears. And that's just the start of it. I've been a little less then pleasant to Kyle a few times recently and have had a pretty short fuse when it comes to reacting to situations.
Lots of women warned me that the last month or so is torture, but I just assumed they were talking about "other" people who simply can't handle it for whatever reason. I shrugged it off and just assumed I would be fine. Honestly, this pregnancy has been pretty easy and I am extremely grateful for that, but these last few weeks have really pushed me to my edge. Maybe "torture" is a little too strong of a description, but "challenging" definitely applies. I know once the baby arrives my swollen feet, sore hips, bloated face and unstable emotions will eventually fade. Hopefully I'll even be able to laugh about them. In addition to those physical symptoms, I've experienced an overwhelming anxiety about when/how it will all happen, fear about how intense the pain will be and how long labor will last, concern for the baby being healthy and strong, compete amazement that this all really happening - soon! - and that in a few short days I will be a mother. Combine all that while still working and living your everyday life and I now understand how the last month can really take it's toll.
I'm 39 weeks today and the due date is just a week away. We had a doctors appt today and ended up having an ultrasound because she was concerned about the level of amniotic fluid. Everything looked fine, though, and the baby is measuring at 6lbs 9oz, which is an estimate and could be off by as much as pound in either direction. She also asked (again) if I wanted to be induced this Friday and we said we'd rather wait and let it happen naturally. I have a feeling that when my water breaks (if that happens first) I'm going to be so excited that it's finally happening I might not be as afraid as I think. I'm still having contractions but nothing too serious or in any sort of pattern. I'm now 1 centimeter dilated and 90% effaced, so that does mean progress since my appt last Wednesday.
We'll keep you posted!